omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My vagina just recognized that song.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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