I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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