your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this will be a night to untag.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
