i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
