I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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