Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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