I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
