So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
