i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
