if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
