I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
