Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
