I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize