So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
