Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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