Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
