Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
