Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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