We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
