i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
