She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
