Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
