I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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