It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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