if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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