Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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