Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
