I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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