I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
