4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
