Sponge bath it is.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
