i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
