she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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