theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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