She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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