she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
