Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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