So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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