my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
