worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
