whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize