This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
