Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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