i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
