'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
