gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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