guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
