When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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