Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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