You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
