why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
