The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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