we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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