Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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