Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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