We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize