How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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