i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Randomize
