my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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