Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
