Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
