I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just high enough for therapy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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