dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
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